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Friday 4 September 2015

Dog on the beach

I ran across the beach with my dog. We saw a penguin laying an egg. I could smell the salty water.
As i walked across.  I could feel sand rubbing against my shoes. I could see a boat from the other side of the ocean it was like a black spot. I love the seen.
By Lara



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5 comments:

  1. Unknown4 September 2015 at 10:36

    Hay Lara, You could add some detail on your story to make it sound like you are the dog or the person What one are you???

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown4 September 2015 at 10:39

    thanks katelynn In the story I am myseft

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown5 September 2015 at 18:15

    Hey Lara this is a good story but it could use a bit more detail I like the bit where it says I could see a penguin laying a egg
    ELZ

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown5 September 2015 at 18:15

    Hey Lara this is a good story but it could use a bit more detail I like the bit where it says I could see a penguin laying a egg
    ELZ

    ReplyDelete
  5. Unknown11 September 2015 at 10:13

    Thanks Ella I will try to add some detail next time

    ReplyDelete

Thank-you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comment.

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