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Friday 4 September 2015

Dog on the beach

I ran across the beach with my dog. We saw a penguin laying an egg. I could smell the salty water.
As i walked across.  I could feel sand rubbing against my shoes. I could see a boat from the other side of the ocean it was like a black spot. I love the seen.
By Lara



5 comments:

  1. Hay Lara, You could add some detail on your story to make it sound like you are the dog or the person What one are you???

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  2. thanks katelynn In the story I am myseft

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  3. Hey Lara this is a good story but it could use a bit more detail I like the bit where it says I could see a penguin laying a egg
    ELZ

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  4. Hey Lara this is a good story but it could use a bit more detail I like the bit where it says I could see a penguin laying a egg
    ELZ

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks Ella I will try to add some detail next time

    ReplyDelete

Thank-you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comment.