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Monday 18 May 2015

Dear Diary

Right now... We are in the  trenches hiding from the guns bombs and lots of people are dead and right now
soldiers are outside fighting.People are dead from all  guns bombs and the stair are rocky  and dirty and very step  and lots of rocks and waves pushing against  the ships and the people  keep off the ship.
By Lara
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3 comments:

  1. Unknown22 May 2015 at 10:01

    its nice lara

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown27 May 2015 at 12:37

    Awesome piece of writing Lara!! Very proud of you!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown7 July 2015 at 14:54

    Hi Lara
    This writing is very good I like all the punctuation you put in and the detail. I think you could work on the length of the piece of writing. What is your favorite sentence in the writing and why? What do you think makes this bit of writing good and why?
    Goodbye Lara
    Holly

    ReplyDelete

Thank-you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comment.

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